i just replayed fireproof like three times

cactsus:

my thick thighs and basic brown eyes will win over someone’s heart one day

sanderlust:

my biggest fear is falling and dying in the shower and my family finding me naked

kookie667:

Let’s play a game called “I’m totally joking, but would do that in a heartbeat if you were into it”

probably-a-succubus:

tom-sits-like-a-whore:

carryonmywayward-idjits:

Please excuse me while I walk over your husband’s corpse like he’s nothing and upon entering the room, ignore your traumatised child in his crib and instead clutch your lifeless body in a demonstration of my love for you: creepy and entirely unhelpful

i love how everyone just knows what this is referencing

i dont and i am slightly mortified

louisranger:

i hate it when you go out with your friends but no one bothers to tell you that you look like a grape

image

sapphiretemplo:

DRAKE IS A FOOL

sapphiretemplo:

DRAKE IS A FOOL

queenbandaid:

ppl who constantly radiate bad vibes are so exhausting like how are you always so that way

how do fourteen year olds get pregnant, I can’t even get a high five from a guy

merisea:

When halloween costumes used to be creepy

carryonmywincestson:

INTELLIGENCE IS NOT MEASURED IN YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF MATH

genocidercyo:

clockey:

you’re the window to my wall

you’re the sweat that drips down my balls

thecapn:

the real magic in the harry potter universe is how harry was always in the right place at the right time to overhear the exact conversation between the two people he needed to know to piece together the mystery of the year like god damn

bombing:

walk into any starbucks and say “i can’t believe they’re doing a secret screening of the unreleased Wes Anderson movie down the street” then collect all the macbooks that everyone who just ran out left behind. keep your favorite one and sell any you don’t need